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It's All About The Penetration

When it comes to the people around you, their energy can penetrate you – for better or for worse.

If you’re anything like me, the above title makes you snicker like a teenage boy rather than feel offended. If it’s the latter, sorry ‘bout that.

If it’s the former, I think you’ll enjoy today’s podcast where I go deeper on penetration in the workplace. (Pun intended.)

In this context, penetration refers to the process of making a way through or into something.

When it comes to the people around you, their energy can penetrate you – for
better or worse. You may or may not realize it. And they may or may not realize it either.

I don’t think I did until a close friend of mine wondered why I wasn’t as peppy as usual. As we got to talking, it dawned on me that I was caught up in the “misery loves company” crew at work. In fact (gulp) I may have taken over as leader. <cringe>

We’d share our latest saga at lunch, walking down the hall, running into each other in the
bathroom or elevator, walking to the train…

We’d make eye contact during meetings from across the conference room table, sending telepathic messages to one another…

We’d call each other the second something happened so we could meet up and stew about it…

We’d even forward emails that were ridiculous and comment on them. (Smart, real smart.)

We thought we were a support group, except we didn’t actually support one another!

What we were doing should not to be confused with venting. Venting implies a release. You share and move on. We were just holding onto our stress and frustration.

I knew I had to change, but part of me didn’t want to. What would my colleagues think? Would they be mad? Would they feel I was trying to be better than them if I pulled out of the group?

So I stayed. I stayed and was quiet. BUT, I learned that even if you don’t actively participate, you’re still affected by the energy that surrounds you.

It’s never too late to turn things around and I’ve got two suggestions for making things better:

  • Communicate directly and honestly.
    Surprisingly, most people don’t communicate this way, or communicate
    period. There are reasons for this that I won’t delve into, but being
    vulnerable and authentic when communicating is essential if you want to
    have genuine (and functional) relationships.
    • You could say something like, “Hey, you guys, I hate to be even more of a bummer than we already are, but I’m starting to feel like talking about this stuff is not only bringing me down, but keeping me down. People outside of work have noticed. Now, I don’t claim to know exactly how, but I think there’s a way to get all of our feelings out, but not feel defeated afterwards. I don’t want to disconnect from you entirely, but I just know personally, that I can’t feel this way all the time. If you’re with
      me, great, but if not, I’m going to have to distance myself.” Congrats! You just paved the way to an open and productive conversation.
  • Find the funny.
    You may think you’re not creative or funny, but you are. You’ve just buried that person inside you because the world sometimes makes you feel like you can’t be that way. It’s time to uncover your true being - light, carefree, and happy!
    • My colleagues and I would make up songs, create top 10 lists, improv sketches based on our meetings, and basically find a way to laugh through the pain.
      • Be forewarned: You may have so much fun seeing the sunshine through the clouds that you can talk yourself into settling for a bad situation. If your pain is
        constant, then this should just be a temporary solution while you work on your next best thing.

Being in toxic work environments and relationships can wreck havoc on your spirit. Energy is infectious. It penetrates.

The following quotes express the same sentiment, but one might strike a chord with you over another.

  • “You’re only going to be as good as the people you surround yourself with so be brave enough to let go of those who keep weighing you down.”
  • “Show me your friends and I’ll tell you who you are.”
  • “Show me your friends and I’ll show you your future.”
  • “You becomes like the 5 people you spend the most time with.”
  • “The company we keep can shape more than just the outcome of a situation, but these individuals can actually shape who we are, and inevitably, who we become.”
  • “Surround yourself with people who reflect who you want to be and how you want to feel – energies are contagious.”
  • “You’re a product of your environment. Surround yourself with the best.”

These statements exist for a reason. Here’s to being mindful of these truths because you deserve to be happy and brimming with good energy.

For more insight and stories that I only share in the podcast, have a listen.

And if you liked this, chances are someone you know might too. Feel free to spread The Buzz! I’d “bee” ever so grateful. Thank you.

Have a sweet day! Until next time…

Bee Buzzing,
Amy, The Queen Bee NYC

© 2015 The Queen Bee NYC | All rights reserved

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