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Progress, Not Perfection

Perfection doesn't exist. It's all about making progress and being nice to yourself as you move forward and learn and grow.

Hello, and Happy Thursday!

If you follow me on Twitter and/or Facebook, you may have seen my post earlier this week urging you to “bee” nice to yourself, no matter what’s going on or what you’re dealing with.


That’s because it’s all about progress, not perfection.


If you’ve been reading The Buzz, then you know that my mess has become my message. I take what I’ve learned, or am learning, and use it to (hopefully!) help others.


When it comes this topic, I used to think that if I slipped up or something “bad” happened, I had to be punished. Only a rare few (bless them!) ever saw that side of me, because I did an amazing job of pretending to be okay with it all.


But that attitude wasn’t all fake. I did believe what I was saying — for everyone else. I was the exception.


If someone I knew was going through the same thing, I’d be compassionate, understanding, and kind. But to myself? Nope. I expected more. I expected perfection.


So then, as if I wasn’t already feeling bad about the situation, I just made it worse by flogging myself.


And this behavior, my friends, is a colossal waste of energy.


It does absolutely NO GOOD to be so critical of yourself. It leaves you feeling depleted and all-around crummy!


How are you supposed to go about your business, do your thang (why do I love saying that?!), and change the world if your precious energy is being used to beat yourself up?


Let me answer that. You can’t!


The next time you think it’s good to get mad at yourself, think again. It won’t.


And please don’t confuse self-criticism with self-reflection. There’s value in looking for what you can learn from the past to develop and grow as a person, but there’s no value in judging and being mean to yourself.


Quick Tips:

  • You don’t have to be in denial about what’s happening, but you have to recognize it and CHOOSE to learn from it. Ask yourself what you can take away from the situation. What’s the lesson?
  • When you revert back to self-flagellation, just remind yourself that doing so actually makes the situation worse.
  • “Bee” nice to yourself! Think about how you would talk to a friend if he/she were going through the same thing. I doubt you’d be so harsh, so why be that way with yourself?
  • As a wise friend used to tell me, “The path to perfection is sorrow.” (I’m pretty sure she got that from a fortune cookie, but truth can be found just about anywhere.)
  • Perfection doesn’t exist, so cease and desist your attempts to reach it!
  • You may not be where you want to be, but thankfully, you’re not where you used to be!

And PS: I want you to know that I have been practicing this for years, and boy did I get to put my money where my mouth is recently!


Last night, my computer started making weird clicking sounds. Then it froze. Then the dreaded blue screen appeared.


I heard that voice, “You idiot! You should have prepped sooner, blah, blah, blah…” And you know what? I told my inner critic to shut up and went to bed.


I woke up this morning, and my computer was dead. I reminded myself that the energy I could use to freak out, get angry, or complain to someone would be better spent finding a solution.


I tried to recall what I had written and started typing this blog post using my iPhone. I can’t get some of the formatting to work (I heart bullets!), but oh well.


It’s not perfect, but why get upset? What’s the worst that can happen? I guarantee it’s nothing I can’t handle.


And I did this all with no coffee! Guess who ran out of filters but wanted to get this done, rather than grocery shopping? Yet another thing I could freak out about, but won’t. Not worth it.


So there. I’m practicing what I preach. Plan B ain’t so bad.


Now I must head to my guys at Laptop MD to see what’s going on. And you know what? It’s all good.


Is this anything you relate to or struggle with? It is for a lot of my coaching clients. We work together to personalize healthy behavior changes.


If you’ve got any tips, “bee” a gem and share in the comments below or on Facebook and/or Twitter. I look forward to hearing from you!


And as always, if you liked this, chances are someone you know might too.  Please feel free to spread The Buzz!


Can’t wait to talk to you again!


Bee Buzzing,
Amy, The Queen Bee NYC


Copyright 2014 The Queen Bee NYC | All rights reserved.

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