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The Game Where Everyone's a Loser

Blaming others for your feelings or circumstances is a waste of energy. It's time to self-administer CPR - Choice, Power, Responsibility.

Be forewarned. Depending on how open your mind is – or what kind of mood you’re in – what I have to say might serve as your personal nails on a chalkboard. (Nice way to start, wouldn’t ya say?)

I told you in this post that I’d tackle this topic another time.

It’s time. <wink>

I’m not going to dive too deep into the blame game today, because if you’ve been reading The Buzz or following me on Facebook and Twitter, you’ll probably recognize the common threads woven throughout: Choice, Power, and Responsibility. CPR. It’s time to resuscitate, baby!

Resuscitate means “to revive from unconsciousness.” The difference between the CPR we’re most familiar with and the one I’m referring to is who administers it.

When we blame others for our circumstances or how we feel, we give power and control to the other person.

We’ve got to wake up and see that we’re the only ones responsible for where we’re at. Expecting someone else to change what only we can keeps us stuck.

The good news is, we can change. The power is within.

This week, someone was super rude to me, and I got frustrated. When a friend asked how I was, I told them I was in a crap mood because of the situation.

And then I started talking about it, which made me feel terrible. I was essentially reliving the stress I said I didn’t want to feel!

I quickly caught myself and turned the situation around by finding the humor in it (there was some) and moving on.

Afterwards, every so often, the thought of this person and what happened would pop into my head and I would feel my blood start to boil. (Jeez, I thought I had moved on!)

In that moment, I knew I had a choice. I could give this person power over me by getting angry, complaining, and emotionally exhausting myself, or I could control my reaction by relaxing my shoulders, softening my jaw, and getting back to feeling calm.

Self-administering CPR takes practice, so you may not be able to revive so quickly yet, but in time you will.

You’re already on your way to positive change just by being aware of this principle.

Now, what if you’re hell-bent on fixing somebody else? If that’s the case, ask yourself what that’s done for you. My guess is nothing, besides make you feel like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day.

Why not take a different approach? Michael Jackson’s song had a purpose, you know. “If you want to make the world a better place, take a look at yourself and make the change.”

When you take responsibility for your own world, you impact the whole world.

If you need a cinematic reminder that one person can make a difference, I recommend The Power of One, based on Bryce Courtenay’s 1989 novel of the same name.

Admittedly, I haven’t seen in a long time, but when I did, I had a real turning point.

The movie didn’t just stir my teenage hormones (Stephen Dorff and Daniel Craig in 1992!) but boosted the positive persistence in me.

It’s set in South Africa in the 1930s, where a young boy forges relationships that don’t make the state’s apartheid government very happy. You can stream it on YouTube. The trailer’s below.

So, how do you feel about the blame game? Do you know better, but have trouble doing better? Talk to me in the comments. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this topic.

As always, please feel free to spread The Buzz. I’d “bee” ever so grateful!

Bee Buzzing,


PS – Since next Thursday is Thanksgiving, and (hopefully) that means a day off from the usual, there’ll be a break in The Buzz.

No matter where you are, who you’re with, or what you’re doing, make it a wonderful day!

Know that you – my dedicated and engaged reader – will be in my
thoughts. I’m thankful for the opportunity to share and serve in some
way each week.

To steal a line from “Poor Unfortunate Souls” from Disney’s The Little Mermaid (because that’s how my mind works!), “That’s what I do. It’s what I live for.”

Let’s focus on all that we have and be reminded of just how very rich and truly fortunate we are.

Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours!!

Copyright 2014 The Queen Bee NYC | All rights reserved

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