I’m somewhat of a late bloomer. Of course, we’re all works in progress, but there were certain areas in my life where I matured rather quickly, and others where I felt l really lagged behind.
This bothered me. It’s not like I didn’t know there was no such thing as perfection. I just thought I could be the exception. <wink>
I didn’t like some things from my past, but since I didn’t know how to deal with those feelings, I let them stew inside me until I was overcooked and completely burned out.
My past had already happened (duh), yet I consistently chose to go back to get all worked up, angry, and unsatisfied, wishing it had been different.
By default, I’m a fighter. Or you might just say I’m a stubborn esh. (My favorite Armenian word (of the 5 I know) that means donkey.)
Because of this (and other reasons you can thank me for not getting into right now), I spent years – seriously, YEARS – of my life fighting a battle that could never be won. All I managed to do was thoroughly exhaust myself.
Do you know what it’s like to be emotionally drained, to have nothing left of yourself to give, because you’ve spent all your energy putting up a good front?
Warning: Not dealing with the real issues is even more damaging long term than facing them head on.
In order to save ourselves from unnecessary turmoil, it’s imperative that we distinguish between what we have control over and what we don’t.
Let me stress something that you should already know: we can only control what we do in this very moment.
Sure, what we do in the present may impact our future, but one thing we surely cannot change is the past.
Reflecting on what’s happened and using our insights constructively can be valuable, but harping is not.
Whether the past was shocking and hurtful, painful and sad, or disappointing and discouraging, accept it. It’s over, and that’s good news!
You’ve been shaped into the person you are by it, but not defined. You can start over fresh and new at any time, but it’s not until you accept the past that you’ll be able to change the future.
If you’re caught up in trying to fix or change what’s already happened, do yourself a favor and hop off the crazy train. Say thanks for the ride and wave goodbye!
When I finally gave up and decided to accept the stuff I didn’t like about my past, it felt like I was born again. (Not that I can recall the first time, though my mother likes to remind me of that day often!)
You can be renewed too, so think about who you want to become. It’s never too late to transform.
You have permission to let go of your past. How does it feel to know you don’t have to let your past define you? With that newfound freedom and energy, what will you do? Let me know in the comments.
And if you liked this, chances are someone you know might too, so please feel free to spread The Buzz. I’d “bee” ever so grateful!
Until next week…
Amy, The Queen Bee NYC
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