Do you remember the popular book series ”Choose Your Own Adventure” from the 80/90’s where you got to — you guessed it smarty pants! — choose your own adventure?!
Now, I didn’t read those books. I was too busy prepping for my Star Search audition (never happened) to be bothered with recreational reading, but I do remember my brother being into them. And me being amazed at how he could stay quiet for so long. I’m sure my parents
secretly wished that was me…
Anyway, back to the books! So, as the reader, you got to decide the fate of the main character by choosing his actions and ultimately, the outcome. Some books had up to 40 potential endings! And there were multiple ways to get to those endings.
Sounds like a fun adventure, right? You read a few pages, make a decision, turn to the corresponding page, read what happened, make another decision, turn the page…
You get the idea. Now unless you suffered from high anxiety as a child (and I sure hope you didn’t) and read the same book, different ways, over and over and over again, you did not know what was going to happen next.
And you probably didn’t sit there biting your nails or pulling your hair out (unless you were that high-anxiety child) wigging out, not able to turn the page because you were so worried about making the “right” choice. Right?! Of course not! You just made one call after the other that kept the character moving along.
So, if that’s the case, then why as adults do we have such a hard time doing the same?? (I’m lumping myself in here, don’t you worry!)
Now I get that the character in the book isn’t us and it’s easier making a decision that doesn’t affect our lives personally, but I’m telling you, we can be just as quick and have just as much ease in our decision-making as we could if we were doing it for somebody else.
Oftentimes we struggle because we want to know what the “right” thing to do is. We want to know what will happen if we choose this or that and then we can really drive ourselves nuts trying to figure out the then what happens.
The trouble with this cycle of thinking is that it keeps us stuck. We can freeze up for fear of making the wrong choice and not move at all. Or we can think about things over and over again that it’s like being on a hamster wheel. We exert a ton of energy, but go nowhere.
And let’s face it. None of us knows what’s next. The future is not known! The sooner we can accept and embrace that, the better off we’ll be.
Now I’ve certainly been frozen before and on the hamster wheel (sweating profusely I might add). And I’ll probably be there again since despite the nickname, I am human. I just won’t be there for long because I know what it takes to get unstuck!
Here are two facts that I remind myself of when I’m not moving along. I hope they can help you if/when you ever feel the same:
#1: There are no “right” or “wrong” decisions.
There are just decisions. You make one and if you don’t like where it
leads you, you simply make another and course correct. You’re never
stuck somewhere forever.
#2: There is no universal “right” decision for everybody.
What’s right for you may be completely different than what’s right for
someone else. You’ve got to trust and believe in yourself enough to go
your own way.
We all have the power to choose our own adventure in this life. We all make choices that lead us on a certain path. We make them. Not anyone else, so let’s get into full responsibility mode here. <wink>
Warning: This mode can be uncomfortable, but if you’re honest with yourself, you can’t deny the truth that we have control over our thoughts and actions. More on that another time…
I don’t know about you, but I want a life with the least amount of emotional and mental angst! I want to feel a calm confidence when making decisions. When I remind myself that I can’t go “wrong”, it puts my mind at ease. Like a mental sedative. Without a prescription.
So if you feel stuck, just take some small action and watch what happens.You’ll most likely survive (yay!) and feel better because you’re in motion. And then remind yourself that you can’t go wrong when you act on what feels right for you.
You’re the only one who has to live your life, so you might as well live it on your own terms.
Go forth and choose your own adventure. And I can’t wait to read about it.
Now I’d love to hear from you! Do you struggle with any of this? Are you often stuck and fearful of making the “wrong” choices? Do you have any tips on how to push through those fears? Leave a comment and let me know!
And finally, if you liked this, chances are someone you know might too! Please spread The Buzz! I’d bee ever so grateful!
Talk to you next week! Until then…
Amy, The Queen Bee NYC
© 2014 The Queen Bee NYC | All Rights Reserved
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