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What Do You Really Want?

What do you really want, value, and desire? You can make it happen.

Hey! How’s it going? I hope you’re having a GREAT week!

So, this marks a significant time for me.  It was one year ago that I left my job at American Express to work as The Queen Bee NYC full time.

On October 5th, I walked out of “The Tower” (the nickname for Amex HQ) feeling a bit lighter, with no ID, no laptop, no Blackberry to check obsessively.

At the time, I thought I’d feel more emotion than I did. Like, I’d feel sad to leave, but then, once I’d exited the revolving door, I’d stop, break into a big smile, and squeal. (I do this sometimes.)

The opening of The Mary Tyler Moore Show, where she throws up her hat, is kind of what I envisioned, but that’s not at all what happened. (To see Mary in action, check out the video – 49 seconds in, you’ll see the picture I had in mind.)

I imagined a glimmer in my eye that signified hopeful anticipation for the future. I’d walk away, leaving the past behind, and then the camera would pan up and out until I became one tiny little speck amongst many, doing my own thing in this giant city that I call home…

“And scene!” Haha haha… I love movie magic.

What really happened was, I walked out of The Tower, stood on the sidewalk waiting for my television theme song to play, but there was silence. (I don’t have a television show, though I do have a theme song.)

I even turned around, thinking that if I looked back at the building — you know, the one I had walked in and out of for five years — I would feel something. But there was nothing.

I looked at the people leaving, in a hurry to start their weekend, thinking about how they’d do it all over again next week. I realized that I wasn’t with them anymore, but I still came up short in terms of emotion.

I closed my eyes and opened them in an effort to “Take two!” and summon some feelings, but it was totally anticlimactic!

Shrugging my shoulders, I decided it was a wrap and to just get on with my life. (When you read what I did next, you might question whether I actually had one.)

I crossed the street and hit up Bed, Bath & Beyond for more Simple Human garbage can liners and a good browse. (I think I mentioned it was a Friday?!)

Anyway, I digress.

My decision to leave a “good” job made people stare at me like I wasn’t exactly telling the truth, as if I really had another job lined up, or received a terrible health diagnosis, or my sugar daddy was going to bankroll me. (I don’t have one of those either.)

Nope. The decision was a battle between head vs. heart, and my heart won.

You see, I’ve always been a Pollyanna of sorts. That hopeful, wide-eyed, optimistic person you want to slap when you’re not feeling that way yourself. 

I believed in Freedom and wanted it more than anything.

Freedom, autonomy, responsibility, leadership, flexibility, travel, FUN… these were all things I valued. And still do.

I wanted a life and career that reflected my values and desires, but realized I wasn’t doing anything about it besides passively waiting for it to happen.

So I made a change! There’s more to that change, of course, but I’ll save that for later.

In fact, next week, I’m going to reveal some pretty personal stuff that’ll either have you relating to me even more or running for the hills from my “crazy”. 

Now I want to know what you want deep down. What are your values, your desires? Don’t you dare brush them aside. They’re important. You’re important. You matter. And believe it or not, your existence has a purpose.

Life is short. (I’m not telling you anything you don’t already know here.) The clock is ticking. My first official year as The QB flew by. Of course I was having fun, but time really does pass quickly either way!

How are you going to feel when you wake up one, two, or five years from now and feel the same way you do today?

If there’s any inkling inside to make change, what are you waiting for?

Is your engine stalled? You may need a jump start.

AAA may not come to the rescue, but A can. (That’s A for Amy. Okay, so not all of my attempts at humor work, but I’m trying!)

Well, it’s certainly been a year of highs and lows that I wouldn’t change for the world.  It’s only made me more passionate about what I do and more helpful to my clients.

I absolutely love what I do.  THANK YOU for being my silent (and sometimes vocal) cheerleader.

As always, if you liked this, chances are someone you know might too! Please feel free to spread The Buzz. I’d “bee” ever so grateful!

Can’t wait until next Thursday! Have a wonderful week!!

Bee Buzzing,

Copyright 2014 The Queen Bee NYC | All rights reserved

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