In school, the higher level of education we pursue, the more work we have to put in and the more difficult the test – for most of us, that is!
Life lessons are no different. But when you’re caught up in the day-to-day, it can be hard to remember that you’re even being tested, let alone that the test is meant to help, not hurt.
I’m coming to you today from PS 212. (And sadly, this is a repeat course.) I had no idea I was sitting in the classroom again, hadn’t even sharpened my #2 pencil and now it’s week three and I’m still testing...
Ah-ha! Resistance. And I’ve been fighting when I really need to put my gloves down and accept what is.
More details (as always) are in the podcast, so press play and I’ll chat with ya, but here’s the lowdown on what’s going on.
BUT, since I tend to consume myself with whatever I’m charged with (and forget that I’m not superhuman) I boarded an express train fueled by stress and pressure - mostly self-imposed.
The speed kept picking up and despite efforts by friends and family, who pointed out the emergency brake, I ignored until the warnings stopped and I reached my final destination: Consequence.
Like a leg sweep that leaves you on your back wondering what the hell just happened and how you didn’t see that coming, the ground was taken right out from under me.
I broke my right foot. Wish I could say it was doing something exciting like martial arts, but I wasn’t. I was walking - wasn’t rushing, wasn’t distracted, the pavement wasn’t uneven, I didn’t fall...
I can’t remember what happened exactly, but instead of stepping on my heel, my foot rolled and I crushed the top and side of my foot.
Many of my friends and family said the same thing when they heard my news – it was a sign for me to slow down and stop – you know, the message that had fallen on deaf ears weeks earlier.
Yeah, God pretty much told me to sit my a** down cause it was time to talk. ;)
Except that I didn’t. I kept operating as if I could still do some of the things I “needed” (don’t even get me started) to do, and now I’m paying for it because my foot isn’t healing the way it should.
Those who are close to me know that I’ve been kinda crabby lately. (Sorry, guys.) It’s because I’m pissed at myself – because I forgot that I’m not in control of everything. I thought I was some sort of exception and would be exempt from doctors’ orders. Because my over the top independence (which awards no medals) makes it extremely uncomfortable for me to ask anyone for help. And because I still seem to be fighting this situation like a ravenous dog with a bone.
I mean, come on! I know better. Now, by writing this though, I’m holding myself accountable for doing better. I forgive myself and choose to act differently moving forward. (Even though there’s really no literal movement happening here, ha ha.)
I’m not looking for pity, and believe me, I know things could be worse. I share this story with you because I don’t want you to ignore any warning signs in your life.
Remember that things don’t happen to you, they happen for you. Tests give you an opportunity to apply your knowledge and graduate to a new level of awareness.
And the challenges won’t last long if you choose to accept them, but if you err on the side of stubborn donkey and resist like me, your test will continue until you face this truth.
And, as I found out this weekend, if you’re not feeling up to the task, never underestimate the power of three things – sleep, food and kindness:
When you treat yourself the way you’d treat someone you actually love (ha ha) your way of being shifts and your attitude will follow. ;)
And find support while you do - people who are empathetic, sensitive and compassionate. That support will make all the difference.
I hope this helps and that you look up throughout each day to see the big picture.
Until next time, bee buzzing.
Amy, The Queen Bee NYC
© 2016 The Queen Bee NYC | All rights reserved
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